Laurel Kelleen and the Care of Magical Creatures
by kaylajamesgrey
Summary: Meet Laurel Kelleen, the new Care of Magical Creatures professor, as she and the Hogwarts creature keepers attempt to navigate the world of magical and mythical beasts. [Inspired by the new coaster at Universal Studios Orlando, Hagrid's Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure]


"Hogsmeade, Miss."

Laurel Kelleen looked up from her newspaper, a faraway look on her face. "Hm?"

"We've arrived in Hogsmeade." A tall man looked at her from a few feet away, a wary look on his face. Under normal circumstances the conductor of the Knight Bus would be assisting her with her luggage, but with a caged fire crab to her left, a sullen gnome sitting at her feet and a muzzled Jarvey stretched across her lap, she didn't blame him for keeping his distance. The creatures may be annoying, but they weren't dangerous. (Fire crabs weren't _dangerous_, Laurel would say, not to a competent wizard or witch at least.)

"Thank you, Martin. And you, Ernie," she called to the driver. A wrinkled hand waved from behind the curtain. "Martin, if I take care of these two, can you assist Mr Wandsworth off of the bus?" She picked the jarvey out of her lap and set him onto the seat. Bending down, she scooped up the gnome like a toddler (who began complaining loudly) and flicked her wand to levitate the fire crab's cage and her trunk. "Mind the muzzle," she said over her shoulder as she made her way off of the bus.

As she was setting the gnome back down, she heard a sudden stream of curse words coming from inside the bus. Her mouth twitched as she tried to hold back a smile and she turned to watch the young conductor carry out the now muzzle-free jarvey who was currently insulting the mothers of every passenger on the bus. "Mr Wandsworth," she scolded, coming over to take the overgrown ferret. "What did we say about- excuse _you,_ these robes are perfectly fine!" With a flick of her wand, she muzzled the creature again, shaking her head. "I don't know why I bother sometimes, he never listens." She handed the man a few coins. "For the inconvenience, thanks again."

He quickly boarded and the bus drove away, it's various riders probably cursing her and her creatures. It wasn't anything she hadn't dealt with before, Sage Kelleen had been fielding odd looks and comments for most of her life due to her affinity with magical creatures. First at Hogwarts, where her dorm mates would complain about animals coming through the windows and professors would dock her house points for sneaking to the black lake at night to talk to the giant squid. Then after graduation, she had to move from flat to flat when various landlords evicted her for some unauthorized pet or another. Luckily, she'd run into Luna Scamander while buying kneazle treats and she'd given her a referral to the Newt Scamander School for Magizoology.

It was a competitive program, taking in only the best creature keepers and beast wranglers. Somehow she'd passed the interview and entrance tests, and five years later she'd graduated top of her class, having learned from the best magizoologists. She'd even been invited on a research trip led by Newt Scamander himself and his wife Porpentina, studying the natural habitats of various dragon species. Now she was headed back to somewhere familiar - Hogwarts.

After many years of some of the most interesting classes Hogwarts had ever had, Rubeus Hagrid was retiring from his post as Care of Magical Creatures professor. For some reason, they'd chosen Laurel as his replacement. She was honored, nervous, and excited. But luckily, she wouldn't be doing it alone. After the war, the incoming classes had gotten bigger and as the school expanded, so did the creature department. With the help of Newt Scamander, Hogwarts added creature preserves, doing their best to mimic the habitat of the animals the students would be studying. Magizoologists from the word began to drop in, conducting their own studies in the new facilities. Rehabilitation programs began and a team of creature keepers was brought on to assist. Housing was added in Hogsmeade and it was there that Laurel was headed.

With a gnome, a jarvey, and a fire crab in tow, she arrived at the large, brick building that was creature keeper housing. A few keepers lounged next to a pond where a kappa tried to convince them to join her in the water, though the keepers ignored the scaly creature. A pair near the stables were encouraging a young winged horse, an abraxan by the looks of it, as it tested its wings. On the steps to the front door sat two keepers, a group of puffskeins between them.

"-I'm sure it's called a poof," the woman said, picking one up and lightly tossing it up into the air and catching it again. The creature hummed happily.

"No, it's a floofle," the man insisted, swatting away one of the puffskein's long, pink tongues before it could stick it in his nose. Puffskeins were notorious for trying to eat bogeys.

"Actually," said Laurel, lowering the fire crab cage to the ground, "a group of puffskeins is called a poffle." She bent down to pick up Mr Wandsworth, who had stopped sulking about being unable to talk and started stalking the gnome. As jarveys were the natural predator of gnomes, the creature wasn't taking this well and had started crying. "Mr Wandsworth, I will turn you into a fur coat if you don't behave yourself," she told him cheerfully, before setting him back down. She went to comfort the gnome but he had gone to the female keeper and climbed into her lap, whining that the "stinky kitty mean!"

"You must be the new Professor. Interesting crew you have here, I haven't met a gnome that likes people before." The woman tickled the gnome under his chin and the creature giggled.

"Laurel Kelleen," she confirmed. "And usually they aren't so friendly, but this one was being kept as a pet in a hoarding situation. When the house was raided, it was deemed unsafe to place him in a gnome community, he was too acclimated to people, so I got stuck with the little pest." She said the last part fondly, clearly attached to him. "His name is Jerome."

"Jerome the gnome?" The male keeper asked, checking out Mr Wandsworth. The jarvey, sensing an opportunity, started pawing at the muzzle and whimpering, acting as though it pained him.

"Don't take that muzzle off," the woman warned, now cradling Jerome like a baby. The gnome wore an expression of utter bliss. "You know all they do is curse and say rude things, and now that I say it out loud, I know you're going to ignore me and take it off anyway, I don't know why I'm bothering." She turned back to Laurel. "I'm Piper, specializing in magical pets. This one is Kyle and he specializes in getting bit by different animals."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny. It was only five times." He turned to Laurel. "I deal with anything that flies. But this guy seems pretty interesting." His fingers twitched toward the muzzle.

Laurel laughed. "I have to warn you, the amusement wears off quickly, especially when he starts attacking your outfit."

He looked down at his keeper uniform, a tan tunic over patched brown breeches tucked into brown boots. His arm guards were still on but his knee guards lay on the ground beside him. "What's wrong with my outfit?"

Piper had rocked the gnome to sleep by this point, and laughed quietly. "You look like a giant piece of dung. Should have worn the blue vest."

Laurel laughed too. "I'm going to take my things up to my room. Would you like me to take the creatures?" They shook their heads, promising to get someone to put the fire crab in an appropriate enclosure, and Laurel grabbed her trunk. As she entered the house, she heard the sound of a jarvey starting to swear.


End file.
